I am I

Dr. Dad Bod
1 min readDec 6, 2023

There is a commercial for a medication that I see frequently that says “If you have _______, KEEP BEING YOU……” .

That’s nice.

So, if you have that, you shouldn’t shape shift or morph into someone else ok? Also, please don’t astral project your soul and take over someone else’s body.

Don’t get tattoos all over your face until your own mother doesn’t recognize you, and also don’t become a chimera by renting a Crispr machine and manipulating your genes.

Don’t buy Groucho glasses and pretend you are a Marx brother.

Don’t snuff out a sibling and assume their identity, and don’t pose as a prince in Nigeria who is in trouble an email people for money.

Don’t celebrate Halloween because then you aren’t being you.

Please don’t take a boat into the middle of the ocean , get on a lifeboat secretly, blow up the big boat, then paddle to shore and assume a new identity in order to collect the insurance money the old you left the new you in the will.

Don’t become a werewolf or a vampire.

If I sound like a sarcastic, salty old codger- sorry.

I was told to keep being me.



Dr. Dad Bod

I am a husband, father, teacher, and soccer coach, and aspiring writer residing in Northern Virginia. More than anything, I love having fun and pushing myself!