American A-Holes: Non — Specific Edition

Dr. Dad Bod
2 min readJan 18, 2023

In my previous edition of American A-holes, I named a person specifically. However, while there are some specific people that just seem to beg to be recognized as an A-hole, there is also an entire subculture of A-holes that need to be grouped together as they are too myriad to call out individually. I have been meaning to recognize these people for a while, but today on the way to work, I encountered one of these folks and just had to dubiously lionize them and their ilk.

Let me set this up properly. Please examine this image:

Notice the arrow.

Almost everyone knows what this means. ALMOST everyone. For some, the arrow ( or often ARROWS) are an absolute inscrutable mystery. They must look at the arrow(s) and think “ I wonder what this means. Also, why does the traffic light I am looking at have a little arrow?”

Now, this I can sort of understand. Hell, everyone makes mistakes right? Although I can’t remember a specific instance, I am sure that I have been daydreaming and ended up in a turn lane when I didn’t want to be there.

However, what makes people A-hole is what happens WHEN someone is in the turn lane and doesn’t want to be. For most of us, the solution is easy: you simply turn and then turn around to get back in the direction you were trying to go.

But to the A-hole, this situation is either too complex for them or they just don’t give a damn about anyone other than themselves, so what THEY do is try to force their way back into the straight lanes which prohibits the people who want to turn from doing so while simultaneously impeding the progress of the drivers who are trying to go straight.

If you have ever done this, especially if you did it this morning on Prosperity Ave in Fairfax , Va and you were driving a silver Lexus, YOU are an A-hole!

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Dr. Dad Bod

I am a husband, father, teacher, and soccer coach, and aspiring writer residing in Northern Virginia. More than anything, I love having fun and pushing myself!